Desires of the Spiritual Life

My latest ponderings have been over the question of desires, also termed wants, affections, pleasures, satisfaction. How much does desire have to do with the spiritual life? My friend, Richard Griffin, proposes that spirituality is "wanting to want what God wants." Along those lines I might propose a three tiered processes of spirituality. We begin in life wanting what's best for us. This is a very carnal, fleshy, self-centered stage. We can see this clearly in our natural development. Babies cry when they don't get what they want. Children fight, rebel and manipulate to get what they want. Many never grow out of this stage through their teen and adult years. These learned tendencies from childhood don't disappear with maturity but, to different extent for all, haunt us for the rest of our lives. If you think I'm painting this in a bad light you are absolutely correct, for a baby's very survival depends on it's demanding what it wants. It's not always evil-intentioned, but natural. Satisfaction at this stage can be found in both believers and non-believers. Carnal spirituality naturally accompanies youth and immaturity. However, true joy is not found in this stage. If we stall our development in this stage because we are too enamored with our own selfish desires we are, as C.S. Lewis says, "far too easily pleased."

The second stage I would propose is a subtle shift from wanting our best to wanting what's best for others. In this stage we come to realize we are not the center of our own universe, that other people have desires of their own, and that it is indeed a joy to help them fulfill those desires. This is Jesus' command, "Love your neighbor as yourself." In this stage we also find those who believe in Christ and those who do not. Lately the media has been flooded with celebrities and humanitarian aid missions that that help fulfill others desires for their own joy, ie. Angelina Jolie, Red Cross, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, etc. They love others not for Christ's sake but for the secret joy found only in wanting what's best for others. However, this too is not the ultimate joy. We must press on to stage three to discover the true joy in fulfilling our created purpose.

The third stage I propose is moving from wanting what's best for others to wanting what's best for the Kingdom. This is the only stage that limits itself to those believers in Christ because its very satisfaction is found in God. This is Jesus' command, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength." This is Bernard of Clairvaux's fourth degree of love: Love of self for God's sake. This is John Piper's theme, "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." This is Job saying, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." This is us finding our desire, our affection, our satisfaction in the advancement of glory of God. It means trusting in His sovereignty and saying with Christ in Gethsemene, "Not mine, but Your will be done." Wanting to want what God wants, our greatest joy in His greatest glory.

"Your name and Your renown are the desire of our hearts." (Is. 26:8)
"Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart." (Ps. 37:4)

Today was John Burke's funeral. John was more of an acquaintance of mine than a friend. We conversed in church on occasion when his family started attending Christ's Church a little over a year and a half ago. He came over and played frisbee with us once last summer. John had a tumor in his brain stem which made it inoperable. I remember the first time I visited John at home once he was bedridden. As we walked in the door you couldn't help but be overcome by the smell of the stale air, a smell I would strangely come to welcome upon each return. It always seemed a little awkward, especially at first until I became better acquainted with the family, and one never quite knew what to say so I was content to hide behind my guitar as simply a quiet reassurance that there were people who cared. The cancer and lack of mobility had taken it's toll on John's physical body. He couldn't really talk or move around a lot. We sang a few songs and he rocked his foot along off beat. God was in the room that night. I knew He was, because I knew the pain of this precious family was but an echo of the pain of the Father. They would not attend a dying son and brother alone, because God was there, and He was crying with them. As awkward as it could be I was always pleased to go back there because I knew it was a place where God was. The last time was late Thursday morning. We went to support Rose and Sarah and Jess and to see John Sr, who was also recovering from an operation removing his own brain tumor. Why so much in one family I will never understand. John died later that afternoon. He was only 23. Though from the stories I heard and the pictures I saw today it was a full 23 years. I think I would've like John if I'd gotten to know him. I think that a lot when I go to funerals. They miss who they've known. I miss ever getting to know him. It's a sobering reminder to take advantage of every opportunity, every conversation. Because I fear my greatest regret will not be something I've done, but the many somethings I was too afraid to do.

In memory of John Burke, 1982-2005

For Rose, John Sr, Jess, Dan, and especially Sarah: "Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands" Isaiah 49:15-16