So I was just watching one of my favorite movies,
Good Will Hunting, and I was struck by a conversation that paralleled some things that have recently been stirring my thinking. In a conversation between Will, an emotionally detached, young genius, and Sean, his shrink, Will asks if Sean ever wondered what his life would be like if he had never married his wife, who had died of cancer two years earlier. Sean goes on to reply that he never regretted the years of joy because of the years of pain, but he would've regretted seeing this girl in a bar and never knowing what would've happened if he had only talked with her. Meanwhile, Will doesn't want to give his heart to this girl, Skylar, because he's afraid that if she finds out about all his imperfections then she'll leave. He's not convinced the potential joy is worth the hypothetical loss.
That reminds me of these words I recently wrote to a friend:
Why is it that love always has to end in loss? Truly the tragic curse of the soul, our greatest hurt bound intimately with our greatest joy. But I suppose it's destined to work out that way. So then we're left with "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I guess I can accept that.
This goes right along with that quote from Pascal [reference earlier post]. If we constantly fear the pain of loss destined in the future then we will never experience the joy of love in the present. Or on the other hand, as with my friend and I, if we cling to our grief, remembering past loves, we miss those opportunities of new loves right in front of us. Or as Sean, the shrink, would say, it's time to put your money back on the table and see what kind of cards you get.
1 comment:
i really like the quote from Pascal. I know I am very much that way... never seeming to be happy with where I am, but i know it's because of the hard times and the times that there seems to be no joy that keeps me seeking after Christ.
I think that's the same way with love mike. it does bring a lot of pain, but keeps us working harder at making it all the more wonderful. And if Christ is at the center of any relationship it will still not be perfect, but it will be two people trying the best they can to glorify God, and it is in the striving and the hard times that we grow the most, and that people grow the closest together.
interesting thoughts, brings back to memory some things you said awhile ago about fear of not doing something you were supposed to do and missing out on it. sounds like God has brought you a long way in this area. keep seeking after Him in it! I have learned that He can heal any stain or hurt, and that He does give us the desires of our hearts... even though we are unworthy :-)
thanks for the comment, we'll be safe, and even go the speed limit ;-)
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