One dimension of this convenient spirituality is our total insistence on ideals and intentions, in complete divorce from reality, from actions, and from social commitment. Whatever we interiorly desire, whatever we dream, whatever we imagine: that is the beautiful, the godly and the true. Pretty thoughts are enough. They substitute for everything else including charity, including life itself.How many times do I imagine my own spirituality to be far deeper, far more authentic and powerful than it really is? Then I contently polish and display those false snapshots of my spiritual life meanwhile destroying any hope of experiencing the real thing. "The great mark of a Christian is what no other characteristic can replace, namely the example of a life which can only be explained in terms of God" (Emmanuel Suhard). We seem so content with a salvation that secures our eternal destiny. Only an American evangelical would deal in such absolutes. We're saved from far more than eternal damnation, we're saved from this living hell, life without God. It's always been about life. "I've come that they might have life, and have it to the full!" But rather than "walking in newness of life" I'm content drinking to the pleasures of this world while proudly boasting in my fictitious photographs of spirituality. How I long for a life that can only be explained in terms of God, yet I'm the only one holding me back.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
This is harder than I'm willing to admit
uugh, convicted. I hate that; well kind of, because then I realize I'm screwed up, but kind of not because then, hopefully, I can fix it. In Brennan Manning's re-released book entitled The Importance of Being Foolish he quotes Thomas Merton saying
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The beauty to everything you just wrote is that you recognize where you are, and the kind of relationship God offers. I love 1 Corinthians 1:26-31, because it talks about what we were, and I think even to an extent of what we can be like sometimes. We can be weak, unwise, uninfluential, and we all are... the only times we can claim the opposite is when recognizing what God has done so we can boast in Him and not ourselves.
But the great hope is that you're right. We did not just get saved from eternal damnation. We got saved from being alone, from being weak in circumstances, from being unwise, and unholy, and we got saved to experiencing the most beautiful and intimate relationship with a God whose love never ends.
We all hold ourselves back from God, and we all have different reasons why. I can't tell you what yours are, besides our sinful nature. But I do believe that when we recognize how small we are, and that we have run after other things, that God greatly humbles us. God gives grace to the humble (prov 3:34)
We may be Christians, but we aren't always so good at giving grace to others. So the amazing part is that you know you have friends that love you for who you are, and give grace to you in circumstances, but how much greater does God do that for us? Far more. And as much as I can say I know that, I obviously either
1) Forget a lot or 2) I choose to avoid it and chase after something else. I'm pretty sure a lot of it is the latter.
The hardest part is giving into God as you said... like as Paul says "He must increase, we must decrease." So now it's learning how to grow from it, and trying to pinpoint what exactly is holding yourself back, and working at something. And when you fail because we all do, knowing that God's gonna pick you right back up again because He loves you, and He wants you to cling to Him when you fall.
PS: The hardest things we do, are the ones we grow the most from.
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