I'm growing quite disturbed with a tendency I see in our culture, mostly because I see it in myself. To put it simply, I'm speaking of the tendency to surround ourselves with "beautiful" people to make ourselves look cool. We make friends or associate ourselves with people who are beautiful, or talented, or popular to improve our social capital (our value in society). The problem with that is it only feeds the concept that value is based on beauty or talent or popularity. It becomes something extrinsic, so if we're not born with it (physical appearance, athleticism, personality, etc) then we have to fake it (fashion, makeup, working out, watching our waistline, etc). One of the ways we fake it is by having other "cool" people think that we're "cool". It's all quite fickle and foolish, yet it keeps creeping up on me.
Instead, I want to value people because of their intrinsic beauty, because God made them special and that alone makes them beautiful. I don't want to feed society's ideal that value is external. Jesus loved people who were social outcasts. If it were today, he'd probably have disciples that were fat, geeky, unkempt, and poor. He saw past the external to their intrinsic beauty. He loved people because they were all valuable to God. That's how I want to love people, but too often it becomes mercenary, for my own gain. I end up building relationships to increase my social capital. And even relationships with "uncool" people are not for their sake, but so that I might appear compassionate. If someone could actually love people solely for what he could give and not for what he gets out of it, he would probably be the most different guy on the planet.
So I'm working on that, but it's not easy fighting against these selfish habits I've been raised to accept by my flesh and by this culture. But then, if love and grace were easy we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.
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8 comments:
ok michael, this is so true and so, so, so, real in life!!!! Makes me think, A LOT!!!
Sandi
"The most important thing about any of us is the image of God we carry in our hearts."
~Scotty Smith & Michael Card
Friendship have the same power and influence over your life as family relationships, sometimes even more. Close friendships have an intimacy about them that allow each person to share their lives and secrets. We learn and grow from friendships just as we do from relationships within families.
Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them.
Wow. I've been thinking a lot along those lines lately, about how I want to really learn to love people... for who they are, just as they are in the way that God loves them. I have such a tendancy to be judgemental or cynucal and I have to fight so hard against it, and still fail. I have seen love personified with the truest sense of compassion in the people dear to our hearts in Namibia and have been praying to see people through the eyes that God has given them. I am so blessed to have seen the huble service and be a witness to the great things God can do... and hope that He will mold and grow me too!
thanks, all, for sharing some great thoughts. Seems this struck a chord for more than just me. Lisa - I recognize that as well. Dieter doesn't look at the size or the color or the handicap of a person. He sees their heart and that's what he loves. Meegan - and trust that they'll be gracious when they win at bowling. ;)
You hit the nail on the head.
gracious. hmm. you have to trust in the fact of friendship being able to withstand a many different things. ;) - which may include losing every bowling match.
I totally agree... it's been a constant struggle for me to reach out and love those that I find hard to love... it's really been a focus of mine, more so lately... to just suck it up and choose to love them, because I know it's disobedience when I make the choice of avoidance... so I continue to trek on, one step at a time...
ahhh, yes... and even though I loose pretty much every game that I play against one certain friend... our friendship has withstood... sometimes through gritting teeth and boughts of... grrrr... but I suppose that is ONE of the many reasons God gave me that friendship... so that I may hone down my competitive instincts... :-) eventually...
Love ~G
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